What I Have Researched

“In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck — and, of course, courage.” ~Bill Cosby

I admit it, I am guilty. I have done it, and I am pretty sure you have too. You let those thoughts in the back of your mind creep forward. You start to worry about your child’s development and whether or not they are progressing according to the charts and graphs. Because of course, the charts and graphs represent normal development (whatever that is!!) Maybe you have asked yourself these questions. Why isn’t he walking by now? Shouldn’t my daughter be talking more? Then enters the self-doubt. Maybe it’s something I am doing wrong. Maybe I should have_________. Finish the sentence…read more books to him, or had more tummy time, or joined a mommy group. There are hundreds of ways to end that statement, none of which are helpful.

Then to make things worse, I start to research books or search on the Internet so I can self-diagnose my child and we all know where this leads! It leads me to start freaking out! I come up with my child having some weird far out explanation which sends me running to my husband. I start asking questions and then he starts looking at me like I am crazy and then asks, “Have you been looking on the Internet again?”

It only takes a few words from my husband to remind me what we all already know. That every child is unique and special. They each grow differently and develop at their own pace. And I believe a mother’s job is to help them as best as she can. Love them for who they are.

I love the quote from Bill Cosby, because I have been there searching for hours through tons of books. What I discovered from my hours of researching is that worrying and self-doubt doesn’t make me a better mother. It just takes my eye off the true treasure that is before me, my child.