Alone…with my thoughts.

Most of the time we don’t like sharing with other people how we are really doing. We ask…”Hi…how are you? Fine…how are you? I am good.” But that is as far as the conversation goes. We all walk around with problems, worries, fears, and insecurities. All of us are hiding something, we all have problems.

I think one of the main reasons we don’t share the real facts about our life is because we fear judgement and embarrassment. To admit that your life is not perfect and that you live with consequences of past mistakes is not easy or pleasant.

We all work hard to portray a certain life, whether we admit it or not. We do.

We want people to see us as a person who is happy and fulfilled, knows what they are doing and where they are going in life.

Well, let me be the first to really share something with you. I experience a daily struggle with keeping joy and faith in my heart. I am about to cry just by typing that because I don’t want to admit it. It seems to me by admitting that I have failed my goal for the day.

You see, I want to be a person of great faith! Huge faith….a person who doesn’t even know the meaning of the word worry. I want to have such peace in my life that people will want to study me just to learn my secret! I want joy that has me laughing and smiling all the time. I want to be so contagiously happy that everyone who meets me has to laugh and smile! (And not just because they think I am funny looking!!) I want all of this and more. And each day I try to be this person.

But today I have failed. For I allowed fear and worry to enter my day. I lost my focus on joy and laughter and I gave into tears and sadness. Why did I do it? Because…I am not perfect. I ‘m flawed. I don’t have it together.

I try to make moments like these a teachable moment…why? Probably because I was a elementary teacher before I decided to stay home with my son. But also because I know life is not perfect and that problems and consequences for our actions are inevitable. The key is knowing how you will react when you face the failures and problems head on.

That’s why I am sharing this with you. I want to make my weakness a teachable moment for me and you. I have now recognized that I didn’t live the first part of my day they way I wanted too. But, my day is not over yet. I can redirect my focus on getting joy back into my heart and a smile back on my face.

I think the key is perspective. I need to remind myself that today is not the end of my life.

I truly believe the best part of my life is my future! I believe with my whole heart that there are better days to come. I have many dreams and desires that will come true and exceed my wildest imagination. I have hope that I will become that smiling, joyful person I want so badly to emulate. Today is just that…one day. I still have many, many more days to come.

Problems that we all face today will pass and hopefully will metamorphose into memories of teachable moments. Each day can be a day towards victory and positive change in your life. Don’t let the fear and failures of today ruin the rest of your day or even your tomorrow!

You can be the person you really want to be…focus on your dreams and desires. Believe in your heart that your future is better than today because…it will be!!

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