Stay In Love Series Day 4: Yes, There Will Be Ups And Downs


There is no denying….relationships are hard work. I think Noah said it best in the movie The Notebook, 

” It’s gonna be really hard; and we’re gonna have to work at this everyday. 
But I wanna do that because I want you, I want all of you, forever, you and me, everyday.” – Noah
Know what’s funny? I am having a really hard time writing about the ups and downs of relationships. It’s not that I haven’t experienced any in my own marriage, because trust me, I have had many. It’s walking that fine line of sharing and remaining private at the same time. But, I will try to do my best.

In my relationship with Chris I have enjoyed many great “ups”. Times when I have felt completely in love, connected, happy, secure, and content. Many great moments of laughing, talking, discovering and connecting. And these are the times when I look at Chris and think, “Yea, I did good!”

But as we all know, marriage isn’t only full of “ups”. I have gone through some pretty rough “downs”. Times when I felt very angry, frustrated, sad, annoyed, and very irritable. And it’s in those times, doubt and worry start to sneak into my mind. I loose focus of the big picture–a life-long loving relationship and start to get stuck in the mud of negative thinking.
I feel what has helped both Chris and I to get through the rough spots is our willingness to face our problems and do our best to resolve them before they become the big picture.  We take big risks by sharing our feelings. We listen to each other and then do what is necessary to solve the problem. It requires a ton of time, patience, compromise, forgiveness, communication and determination. 
I love this quote..
When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could always get worse.And then when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad they have to get better. ~Malcolm S. Forbes
Often to hold on to my relationship I have to let go of my pride. I have to be willing to admit to my mistakes, failures and weaknesses. And I have to say sorry and ask for forgiveness. And Chris has to do the same when he messes up. Then comes the hard step, forgiving.
I can honestly say that surviving the hard times has helped our marriage develop character. And our marriage just seems to get stronger.

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